Getting Past Regret

This past weekend at the boy’s high school cross-country championship of a midwestern state, as the runner-up athlete finished a remarkable personal best time for the 5K course he was overcome by excitement in his accomplishment. Out of sheer exhilaration as he crossed the finish line, he shouted out five words from the top of his lungs! Unfortunately, two of the five were of the four-letter variety. Losing his inhibition in this moment resulted in losing his runner-up place and all-state medal due to sportsmanship rules prohibiting profanity.

While this doesn’t seem fair and isn’t characteristic of the athlete, one word sums this situation up the best: REGRET. Regret is one of the more painful parts of life. It’s when we’re sorrowful for an action, fault or disappointment. Regret hurts. All of us have felt the agony of regret. And when it comes to our finances, evidently most of us have it. According to Bankrate®, three in four Americans are living with financial regret. How is this possible? Consider that…

• Some of us have blown savings or chosen never to save our money.
• Some of us have missed out on a great financial opportunity.
• Some of us have been used for our money.
• Some of us have taken on too great of financial risk and lost.
• Some of us have gotten in over our heads in debt.
• Some of us have wasted our resources on ourselves.
• Some of us have focused our entire lives on money and are unfulfilled.

Whatever the case, it doesn’t take long for most of us to find at least one financial regret. And while this is painful, what’s more is that financial regrets have negative effects on our generosity because we’re carrying baggage that’s holding us back. As followers of Jesus, it’s not okay for us to ruminate in our regrets as this keeps us from living in the freedom of forgiveness. Since generosity is connected to joy, when we stay in the pain of financial regrets we’re not living into our generosity potential.

We need to release our financial regrets. Our past will continue to influence our future unless we go deeper than just changing our habits and actually address our hurt and mistakes. In other words, we need to receive healing that releases us to be generous like God.

Have you made some poor financial moves? Forgive yourself.

Have other people negatively affected your finances? Forgive them.

Have any of your financial choices been sins? Ask for forgiveness.

Have you hurt other people by your financial choices? Ask for their forgiveness.¹

No matter what your financial regret, “It’s going to be okay.” The hope of restoration is not lost. The important thing is to find whatever form of forgiveness is needed. Then, learn and grow from the experience and make the necessary changes in your life to guard against a repeat regret. And finally, when the time is right, find joy in new ways of being generous from a place of healing instead of being held back by heartbreak.

¹Dave Ferguson & Jon Ferguson, Starting Over: Your Life Beyond Regrets (Colorado Springs: Multnomah, 2018), 141-42.