Written by Guest Contributor, Kambui Abdullah | March 28, 2024
To say that in today’s societal reality that we are living in a time of great division is probably not a particularly controversial or a front-page headline-worthy statement. Yet we see and experience these divisions in our everyday lives, and globally. They exist in our homes, places of employment, institutions of worship and elsewhere. They range from within religion, civil and political rights, school education, border control, and beyond. The inherent differences of opinions and people landing on opposite sides of an issue are not new. However, the level of extreme vitriol seems to be at an all-time high. It would be understandable if one held the impression that the current level of discourse contains open or subtle undertones of hate and villainization between those who are diametrically opposed on a particular topic. This is the backdrop in which I was introduced to what I term, “Generosity of Perspective.”
One day in 2016, (and I make the following comment sarcastically) I was engaged in a book where I often go to seek wisdom and guidance…Facebook. While scrolling through my feed, I came across a general anonymous post that cautioned: Before engaging in an argument or a discussion with someone, ask yourself the question, does that person possess the emotional and cognitive/mental maturity to grasp and entertain the concept of an alternative perspective? As a Licensed Mental Health Counselor, I was moved and quickly came to understand that the first person to whom I should ask that question is me. Do I possess the emotional and mental maturity to grasp and entertain the concept of an alternative perspective?
This line of thinking impacted me on a life-changing level that required “pre-work” on my part. The work entailed increasing my self-awareness by intentionally identifying and working through personal biases. It was an eye-opening experience, though not always pleasant. The process resulted in me coming face-to-face with parts of myself that I did not know existed and were rooted in upbringing, prejudices, or ignorance. The more I intentionally and consistently practiced “Generosity of Perspective” when it came to general or specific topical encounters, I was able to refrain from letting my personal beliefs, thoughts, and feelings be the focus of my listening or response, as I had automatically been accustomed to doing. This benefited me as an individual and as a therapist. I was able to listen better and take the time to discover what was most important to others. In doing so, what I learned is that listening and speaking are most effective when they are done selflessly.
It wasn’t until recently when I sat down to write this article, that I made the connection of Generosity of Perspective with the Prayer of Saint Francis who said:
“Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted. To understand, than to be understood. To love, than to be loved.”
We will never live in a world without opposing views or beliefs, but this does not mean we can’t live in a world without unity. By growing in our “Generosity of Perspective” we can gain greater understanding and love towards others, despite fundamental or diametrically opposed differences.
Bio:
Kambui is originally from Chicago, Illinois, but currently resides in Muncie, Indiana. He is a full-time first-year doctoral student at Ball State University in the School Psychology Program. He has worked as a Licensed Mental Health Counselor since 2015. For the past five years, he has worked at Indiana University Health in the Virtual Behavioral Health Department providing emergency psychiatric and suicide assessments to persons who present to any of the 13 Emergency Departments across the state. He maintains a small caseload of clients in his private outpatient practice. Kambui is single with four adult children and twelve grandchildren between the ages of 6 weeks to 16 years old. His hobbies include writing novels, reading all forms of literature, exercising, and watching sci-fi. His biggest enjoyment is spending time with his grandchildren and the feeling when they see him and run into his arms screaming, “Pa-Pa!”
